March and April Blogging: Two a Day!

It's been a while since I checked my blogging stats— well, it's been a while since I posted about them— so let's do that now.

• In March and April I met my baseline goal of writing every day. Some days it was hard and I felt like I had to push to make time to do it, but I did. Even when I was busy. I try to reframe it not as a chore, a thing to be done with time and energy taken away from something else, but as— to borrow an old advertising slogan— "The Pause that Refreshes".


• I met my intermediate goal of averaging 1.5 posts per day because...


• It hit my stretch goal of averaging 2 posts per day— in both months. In March I made it with 63 posts; in April I squeaked across the line with an even 60.

In April I started out the month strong. Our trip to Georgia was the source of many things to share, and I had little problem writing twice a day on average. Ultimately I wrote 28 blogs about that trip. That was nearly half the month's output! I hit the skids late in the month, though, when I had a busy week at work that left me short on free time— and drained of energy. Writing then about my backlog helped spur me on to reduce that backlog, so I finished the month strong with enough blogs to bring me back up to the 2/day average.

What's in store for May? I've got nothing planned, travel-wise, until our trip to Italy at the end of the month. That'll make for a deep well of stories to share. Half of that writing's likely to slip into June, though, given the reality of backlogging on big trips.

Better Call Saul 4.09: Kim Says, Let's Do It Again!

I've written a few times now that the character Kim Wexler in Better Call Saul is a bit of a puzzle. She's a hardworking attorney who, after suffering unfair setbacks in early seasons of the show, is finally seeing her career take off. That's satisfying. But what's her end game in the series? And we know it is an end game because of what I call the Star Wars Rogue One principle: When a prequel introduces a major character who's not in the original, we know that character is doomed.

At the end of season 3 it seemed like Kim's doom might be physical. 😰 She had an accident, but survived... and recovered. As Jimmy and Kim grew apart in season 4 I wondered if her end would be emotional.... Would she and Jimmy just become so different that they broke up? The way they worked together to con the district attorney in ep. 4.08 embodies both the highs and lows of their relationship. Kim was apprehensive about getting involved in one of Jimmy's scams and wanted to do it the by-the-books way first; then she actually proposed a scam to Jimmy and was exhilarated to be part of it; then she seemed to realize how much she'd jeopardize her own career with it.



In fact it's Jimmy who brings up the risk of all the ways the scam could've hurt her. Kim's immediate response after winning the case with the help of their con was elation. She cornered Jimmy in a courthouse stairwell and kissed him passionately. The next day Kim stopped to talk to Jimmy on the street when she saw his car parked there. One glance at the stern look on her face and he started apologizing for involving her in the scam. He rattles off their offenses— "Ex parte communication, contempt of court. I mean, what, talking about a couple hundred counts of mail fraud?"— noting it would destroy her career if it came to light.

What does Kim do?

I expected her, at this point, to say something like...

"You know, Jimmy, you're right. I can't keep going like this. Getting the win in that case was fun, but if any of the things we did ever come to light, even a fraction of them, it'll end my career. I've made partner now. I've got way too much to lose. We can't keep working together. Or even seeing each other anymore."

Instead she said something totally different. "Let's do it again." 😳

That was at the end of ep. 4.08. In the next episode Jimmy and Kim indeed do run another scam. At least this one is to benefit Kim's career, not Jimmy's. But at this point I'm thinking Kim's doom is self-destruction.

Here's my new guess for where Kim's character arc goes from here. She enjoys the thrill of the caper too much that it blinds her to the magnitude of the risks she's taking. Already we've seen her thrill-seeking-risk-taking a few times, and she's taking bigger risks each time. It's going to spin out of control on her. The Rules of Writing dictate she's going to face her comeuppance. Some scam she participates in with Jimmy will get exposed, and it'll blow up on her. It could be the fake-letters one from 4.08, it could be the one in 4.09, it could be a scam she hasn't done yet. She loses her job, her career, everything she's worked hard for for the past 10 years. Discredited and disheartened, she moves away and never talks to Jimmy again.

BCS 4.10: Jimmy "Dies"... and Comes Back as Saul

Better Call Saul episode 4.10, the season 4 finale, is where Jimmy McGill finally completes his transformation in Saul Goodman. ...Well, almost. He announces that he's going to file a DBA to start practicing under the name Saul Goodman.

For Saul Goodman to be "born", of course, Jimmy has to "die". Jimmy gives his own eulogy, in a fashion, in an impromptu bit of unsolicited advice— that's partly a rant— to an aspiring college student, Kristy Esposito.

Jimmy's Advice/Rant/Soliloquy

Kristy applied for a scholarship under a grant created in Charles McGill's name. Jimmy is on the board of the scholarship committee that's chaired by Howard Hamlin and filled with a bunch of HHM people. There are 3 scholarships available, and maybe 10 students have made it to this final round, where they answer questions in a group interview with the committee members. The winners are chosen but not informed yet.

Jimmy catches Kristy outside the law offices. "You didn't get it," he tells her. "You were never gonna get it." He explains that it's because the people in circles of power make decisions very quickly about whether a person will ever be allowed into their circle. Kristy has a minor crime on her record, a small shoplifting offense from a few years ago, and the people with power will only ever see her as a person with a criminal record, he says. It doesn't matter what the circumstances of that one bad act were, nor does it matter what good she does after that; most people will not look past it. Thus he encourages her not to play by the rules, to "cut corners", and to "do what they won't do" in order to get ahead.

Jimmy's really explaining himself here. It's like Hamlet's "To be or not to be" soliloquy scene. Kristy is Ophelia, who hears what Hamlet is saying even though really he's talking to himself as he rationalizes the choices he's making. Jimmy's trying to convince himself that all the corners he cut were actually a noble thing and that becoming a person who, as a rule, doesn't play by the rules is the path to success.

Then Jimmy's car dies.

No, seriously. He goes to the garage, gets in his car, and the car won't start. Jimmy starts crying.

No, he's not crying about the car. I mean, literally he is, but the car not starting is the straw that breaks the camel's back. Jimmy is releasing his emotions about his brother, Chuck, who died a year ago now, and releasing his misgivings about whether he should even try to play by the rules as a lawyer.

Jimmy Comes Back from Suspension— As Saul

In the last part of the episode Jimmy goes back before the board of the State Bar to petition for his license back. He's already been denied once; this is an appeal.

In the denial at Jimmy's first hearing, the committee chair explained to him that he wasn't "sincere" enough. Jimmy was actually very sincere and gave a fantastic answer when they asked, "What does the law mean to you?" But it wasn't what they wanted to hear. They wanted to hear about Chuck. It was well known that  Jimmy's suspension was because he committed a wrong against Chuck. As Jimmy explained in his soliloquy, that's all they saw in him. Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. Thus for him to do anything other than gush with praise and remorse about Chuck was "insincere". Because, again, to them, he's nothing except what he did to Chuck.

So Jimmy comes back to the appeal hearing and talks about Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. At least one of the committee members is moved to tears. Kim, who's in the audience, is moved as well. She's also beaming with pride, as she counseled Jimmy heavily on his presentation for this appeal.

Out in the hallway while the committee is deliberating, Jimmy and Kim are jubilant. They're sure he's won. But Jimmy starts laughing. Did you see those suckers? he sneers. That one asshole was crying, he had actual tears! Jimmy reveals that nothing about this new, more "sincere" presentation was actually sincere. It was just the right amount of tug-the-heartstrings emotional claptrap to fool a bunch of arrogant people who expect to hear a particular story and nothing else.

Let me come back to that point in a moment.

Minutes later Jimmy gets word from the committee that they're reinstating him. As he goes to sign the papers he asks the secretary for a DBA document— because he'll be practicing law from now on as Saul Goodman.

RIP, Jimmy who sometimes cuts corners McGill. Long live Saul sneering disdain Goodman.

Why Jimmy's Speech Resonates with Me— In a Bad Way

Jimmy's speech to the committee resonates with me— in a bad way. I feel like there have been a lot in my professional life where I've been denied something I wanted. There was 1 of it to go around, and it went to someone else. I came in 2nd or 3rd place. Or 4th. Whatever; the ranking didn't matter. I didn't get it. But what rankled was that the person who won didn't do as well as I did, objectively. They didn't have as much content. They didn't have as many numbers. They didn't have as many facts. What they did have was some emotional appeal, some bullshit that wasn't even relevant to the matter at hand. Like, we're selling software, and they told some probably made-up story about an 8 year old girl with cancer. And the people above me, the people who maintain that they're better than me because they're there and I'm not, chose the bullshit.