2023: The Year That Was.

Over the past several years I've made a habit of using New Year's as a time to reflect on, and take stock of, the year just finished. Ideally I would've shared my reflections on 2023 three weeks ago, at the turn of the new year. I've left this idling because it's been a challenge figuring out how to frame it. The challenge has been that my gut reaction to the question, "What was 2023 like?" has been basically Ugh, but when I start to consider specifics to substantiate that overall feeling of disgust, the facts don't support the negativity.

Why, then, the sense of malaise about 2023? That's the million dollar question, as "malaise" describes how many people felt, broadly, throughout the year. So many things, objectively, were good; yet there was such anxiety or over-emphasis on the negatives that it drove widespread overall pessimism.

Given this schism about whether 2023 was a good year or bad, I'm going to title it 2023: The Year That Was.

Travel & Experiences: Positive

As I break it down to understand what was good or bad about 2023, one aspect of 2023 that I should be feeling warm about is travel and experiences. 2023 was a strong year for going places and having fun, especially after the crimp that Coronavirus put on such things in 2020 through parts of 2021 and 2022. The joys seem too quickly fleeting so I remind myself:

• How we traveled so much in April and May I felt like I wasn't working anymore. We had not one but two really fun long weekends at waterpark resorts in Phoenix; a great trip of several days in New Orleans and Mississippi; and a most-expenses paid trip to Cayman Islands. Oh, and a few other trips, too, in the span of 9 weeks.


• We did two fantastic week-long trips, including a long-awaited trip to Australia at the end of December.


• We took lots of shorter trips (2-3 days) that were still packed with activity, like that day we hiked 7 or 8 waterfalls in one day. Wait, which day was that; there were two such days!

Friends & Family: Negative

2023 was a year of seeing my count of family and friends dwindle. One I lost to cancer. I've written extensively about that over the past year so I won't belabor it here.

A few friends I lost because I fired them from the position of being my friend. It wasn't easy, and they (predictably) blamed me 100% for having to do it, but I decided it was necessary. When people carry on like complete jackasses, when they lie and distort, and when they attack me when I challenge them on their plain untruths, and when all the above is not just a misunderstanding or them having a bad day but is their true character, I don't wish to associate with them anymore. I will not stay silent for the purposes of "keeping the peace". There's nothing worth keeping.

So, I was down a few friends in 2023. On the other side of the ledger, I didn't really make any new friends. Maybe in another 20 years after real friends keep dying I'll wish for lying, offensive jackasses who'll talk to me as long as I don't call out their bullshit.

Finances: Positive (though everyone feels negative)

Money. If there's one aspect of life that's the poster child for malaise in 2023 it's money. By and large people spent the whole year worried about money. For most of the year nearly everybody was predicting an imminent recession. That's a big part of the malaise: people's anticipation of bad times to come was far worse than reality.

That's not to say 2023 was a banner year. It wasn't. There was strong growth in the top few companies in the stock market— the "Magnificent Seven" of Amazon, Apple, Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Netflix, and Nvidia— but the broader market spent most of the year struggling just to stay even. As recently as mid-November the rest of the market was slightly in the red for the year. A December rally brought things up into the black for 2023. Overall my portfolio finished up almost 15% (net of new cash added) for the year.

Why money matters: I watch my portfolio carefully because I aim to retire soon. With no pension (companies had largely done away with those by the time I entered the professional workforce) and not being close to 65 yet (or even 62) it's totally self funded. Even once I'm 65 I'll want plenty of self funding since the social safety net in the US is so spotty.

Career: Mostly Negative

I enjoyed a bit of job recognition early in the year when I won nomination to president's club at my company. That provided a fun vacation to the Caribbean but alas not the stepping stone in my career I was looking for. I.e., I've been angling for a substantial increase in job title, to recognize the level of skill and capability I demonstrate, but that didn't come. And with new managers in my department since then I've now actually fallen backward a few steps as the new managers expect me to start over at square one in proving myself.

New management is also frustrating in other ways. I won't elaborate specifics here as I'm keeping this blog open, but let's just say multiple signs are telling me it's past time to leave. That's sad because I've been with this company for over 6 years and have had some good times and done some great work here.

The notion of it being time to find a new job is complicated by the fact I'm looking to retire soon. I really don't want to start a new job just to work it for a short period of time. When I decide I'm done here, am I done-done? As in ready to retire? I've been holding on in this deteriorating job for a few years now, telling myself I'm on a glide path. I've swallowed my frustration at numerous things for a few years, telling myself I've just got to keep gliding a little longer. How much longer now? I'd like to say this is the final year but I'm not sure. Meanwhile the frustrations mount.

City of the Dead, Session 6: Danger Underground!

Now that the winter holidays are behind us we can get back to normal things— like playing D&D! Friday night we got together for session 6 of my D&D adventure/mini-campaign, The City of the Dead.

Recall from session 5, six weeks ago now, that the heroes had fought through a phalanx of undead creatures in the ruins of the long-abandoned city of Graymount. There were zombies, ghouls, ghasts, worgs (not undead but still dangerous), and a wraith.



Worn down but unbowed they pushed further through the ruined city while daylight was on their side. They located the body of Father Terence's elder, the High Cleric Baynor. Well, a magic spell located it. They learned it was locked within a corrupted temple— and guarded by some really powerful evil thing.

As the curtained opened on session 6 the group made its final decision at the steps of the fallen temple. They would leave Graymount with the information gathered thus far, regroup in their home city of Durendal to recover and resupply, and return here with more strength and preparation to recover Baynor's body and free his spirit from its own corruption. This was a wise decision.

Oh, but they couldn't go home empty-handed. Part of their cover story to the powers that be to go on this mission was to investigate the disappearance of a merchant caravan that traveled (unwisely) through Graymount. Indeed they'd already found parts of that caravan. Several of the caravan members were among the ghouls and ghasts who ambushed them that morning! And crashed in a sinkhole beneath the street was one of the caravan's wagons, its cargo splayed out at the bottom of the pit.

Down in the Tunnel

Two of the team climbed down a knotted rope into the pit. The "pit" was actually a tunnel beneath the street. Here, as in one other spot they'd found in town, the tunnel was too near the surface and the street had collapsed into it. Anyway, Herran and Terence descended into the pit to figure out what cargo they could salvage. They'd tie ropes around it to haul up with their friends' help. Meanwhile their friends, Astrin, Duncan, and Meraxes, stood guard up on the road.

Good news! Some of the wagon's cargo was recoverable. Among other things were two small kegs of Gnomish aliantha wine, an expensive delicacy. Then Terence and Herran heard a noise.

Clip-clop, clip-clop. The sound of hooves echoing. Clippity-clop, clippity-clop, the cadence grows faster. And louder. Clop-a-lop, clop-a-lop, whatever’s coming has broken into a charge!



Terence and Herran readied attacks against whatever might emerge from the darkness. Into their circle of light charges a disfigured mule, with a broken leg swinging wildly, chunks of flesh hanging loose, and a malign glow blazing from its gouged-out eye sockets. It’s a zombie mule! And not just any zombie mule but the evil animated corpse of the group's animal Herran had left for dead at the bottom of the other cave-in. It charged straight at Herran.

The two engaged the zombie mule. The creature's charge had come so fast the pair's allies above on the street hadn't had time to react yet, but now they joined in the effort. Except as they joined to reinforce Herran and Terence, more undead creatures joined the fight, too! Two bükken emerged from behind the wrecked wagon, clawing wildly at Terence. Then a wraith emerged from the wall of the tunnel.



Recall that a wraith is a ghostly monster, a shadow in the darkness. Its incorporeal shape can pass through walls and is hard to strike— indeed only magic weapons and spells can touch it, and even those have a 50/50 miss chance. It resembles who or what it was in life before it was slain by other wraiths and raised as one of them. This wraith's wispy body it dressed in wispy armor and robes, a twisted holy symbol of Charonne still showing. It’s the corrupted soul of Father Baynor again!

Wraith Baynor hisses, “This time I will destroy your allies first,” as he reaches out to Herran. The group knows the wraith's icy touch from beyond the grave can drain a person's vitality. As few as two strikes can be fatal. But fortunately for Herran the wraith misses as today the GM can’t roll better than an 8.

Terrence, still with his holy symbol in hand from fighting the mule zombie, channels his deity's power to repel the undead. He gets a baller roll and turns as a 10th level cleric. Unfortunately the weaker undead are closest and absorb the damage. The two bükken are dusted; the zombie mule gallops away on its turn. The wraith, grinning malevolently, is unaffected.

Meraxes, from above, fires down a salvo of Magic Missiles. Force attacks vs. incorporeal foes FTW! It’s less than 10 HP damage but every bit helps.

Then Astrin steps up to turn. The wraith is strong enough that her chances of affecting it are poor, but it’s the best move she has. She holds aloft her sword and intones, “By the power of Morgarath, BEGONE!” The winter light reflects off her blade as the tunnel echoes her command. She scored a totally baller roll with her Turn Undead attack. The wraith isn’t destroyed, but it is turned.

Now the team piles on. Herran goes full-attack on the shade and slashes it several times. Meraxes fires another Magic Missile salvo. The wraith begins to flee back into the tunnel wall, but Herran gets a luck AoO strike and destroys it.

FLAWLESS VICTORY!

Our 102nd Birthday Party

For several years now Hawk and I have celebrated our birthdays with one combined birthday party. Our actual birthdays are a few weeks apart so it would be tough to have separate parties for each. Plus they're both close to the Christmas and New Year holidays— mine especially— so each has a challenge of friends having conflicting social engagements, traveling, or just being partied-out. Because we combine the celebrations we also combine the ages. This year we turned a whopping 102!



Our first order of business for was getting some cleaning done in the morning. Oh, and baking. After lunch we went to the party store to get some decorations. As I ordered up the "1-0-2" balloons you see in the pic above the gals working there were curious, in a reverent way, who's turning 102. I explained how it was us, together. One of the gals then remembered that she made the balloons for our 100th birthday party last year. 😅



In addition to the centerpieces we bought a bunch of black and purple helium balloons to decorate the house. Black is thematic because we're "old", purple is because we like purple and it also goes well with the black. We also have a few other old-themed decorations. The the thing about party signs like "Holy shit you're old!" is that once you buy them once you can just keep on using them. It's not like anyone gets any younger. 😅



Another thing we do every year at our birthday party, and actually for almost every party we host or attend, is make guacamole. Our guac is legendary among our friends. This year it didn't go so well, though. The four ripe avocados I bought that afternoon were actually overripe... to the point of being kind of rotten. The flesh of the fruit smelled, in addition to being a disgusting shade of brown, when I sliced it up into my mixing bowl.

What to do when the party starts in less than 20 minutes and the guacamole's a fail? I phoned a friend! ☎️ I knew our friend Todd was bringing sandwich fixings for the party. I phoned him up. "Hey, Todd, where are you? Have you been to the grocery store yet?" As good luck would have it he was just parking at Safeway. I asked him to grab two dishes of guac. It's not as good as our home-made stuff, but at T-minus-15 minutes one can't be too choosy. 😥



The party was a hit. We had 16 attendees— ourselves plus 14 guests. I had hoped for a bit more. As of the day before we had as many as 17 confirmations but then one person changed to a "No" and 2 others were no-shows. But 16 was a good number. As I've observed before, it fits well in our house, is big enough that there can be 3-4 different groups/conversations going at a time as people mingle, and is small enough that Hawk and I can spend time with everyone as the hosts.

I'll Drink to That!

Booze is always part of our parties. I enjoy drinking it... and I'm a social drinker so I especially enjoy drinking it when I can share that enjoyment with others. Not all of our friends drink of course. Hawk doesn't, and neither do at least half our friends anymore. So we started the evening with a pitcher of piña coladas— virgin piña coladas. Hawk had one, as did several of our friends. Then I made a second pitcher, this time with rum. Oh, and we'd made fresh whipped cream to go with it.

A little later in the evening I made a tumbler of Manhattans. There's only a few of us at these parties who enjoy drinks like that. Though possibly some of the same people who enjoyed my Manhattans at New Year's Eve a few weeks ago remembered getting too sleepy afterwards. It's a stiff drink. As I like to remind people, "The only thing not alcoholic in the mixture is the ice cube." 🤣😋🥃

Later in the evening a friend gently suggested we open the bottle of small batch bourbon he brought as a gift. That sounded like a grand idea, so I opened it an poured tastes for 5 of us. Wow, it was good. And strong. The bill read 60.25% ABV— 120.5 proof! That makes it actually the strongest liquor I've drank straight and the strongest I've had of any kind since occasionally mixing 151° rum in a cocktail back in college. And the bourbon had surprisingly good flavor at that high strength. Though we all agreed pouring it over a  single large ice cube softened it up to make the flavor even better.

Wrapping Up

By 11pm people had started to leave. The thing about being 102 together is that most of our friends are at least 50, too. Staying up late is hard! I poured one last round of drinks, this one a top-shelf tequila I bought in Mexico years ago. It's not even sold outside of Mexico. At this point I only had one taker (other than me!) though a few people were intrigued by the bespoke bottle. It's definitely a conversation piece.

By 11:30 it was just Hawk and me left at the party. At that point I guess it's technically not a party anymore. But we weren't ready to call it a night. We sat downstairs curled up on the sofas listening to the music. ...Well, I wasn't curled up but rather sitting sideways with a leg splayed rakishly over the side of the chair, glass of fine tequila still in hand.

All good things do come to an end. We shut off the music and spent a few minutes cleaning up the cups and plates and leftover food. Running things out to the trash bin would wait until morning.

I keep replaying in my head something one of our friends quipped as everyone was saying their goodbyes a bit earlier. "You always have great parties," he complimented us. "I always enjoy your parties. I hope you keep doing them like this."

I hope we do, too!