Tales & Trails of a Traveling Wiseguy

Yesterday I wrote about trying shit beer just because it's well reviewed in a Buzzfeed listicle. Well, there was another beer on one of those shit lists that I was keeping in the back of my mind. Not because it's actually shit but because I've had it before and— at the time at least— didn't think it was shit. I mean, how could this beer be shit when it didn't just impress 10 random bartenders surveyed for a 2020s Buzzfeed listicle but inspired a blockbuster movie franchise in the 1970s and 1980s?

That's right, this beer inspired a movie.

I'm talking about Smokey and the Bandit.

And it wasn't just a touchstone of American cinema from 1977 but it also launched the career of movie star Burt Reynolds.

And the beer? I'm talking, of course, about Coors Banquet.



"Wait," you might be thinking, "Isn't Smokey and the Bandit about Burt Reynolds exuding ``country cool'' while outfoxing a bunch of incompetent Southern sheriffs who are trying to write him speeding tickets?"

Yes, it is about all that. But the driving motive of the story, the thing that kicks off all the action, is beer. And not just any beer, but specifically Coors Banquet.

It's part of American folklore that Coors, based in Golden, Colorado, didn't distribute its beer west of the Mississippi River until 1986. For decades people who traveled across the US found that this really tasty beer that was available in Western states wasn't available in the rest of the country. Among beer aficionados it became notorious. Travelers would bring cases home with them. Coors is even reputed to have been carried aboard Air Force One multiple times, as presidents Eisenhower and Ford were fans of it. Thus the MacGuffin for Smokey and the Bandit in 1977: a wealthy gambler in Atlanta challenges a truck driving team to bring him a shipment of 400 cases of Coors Banquet— illegally— in time to show off to his peers at a racing event. They have to drive from Georgia to Texas to fetch it, then back in record time to deliver it.

So, after that wind-up, how does it taste?

It's... not shit.

Unlike other "shit" beers I've tried— unlike pretty much all other traditional mass-produced US beers— it doesn't have a nasty taste. It doesn't have a nasty taste at the beginning that fades away, it doesn't taste nasty at the end. It doesn't taste nasty on its own, it doesn't tasty nasty with food. It just tastes... decent. Like mass-produced US beer if it... wasn't shit. 😳

Mind you, it's not a richly flavorful beer. It's basic beer. But it's decent basic beer. Like, I could set this alongside any of countless basic European beers and it'd fit right in.

Mind you #2, this is not Coors Light. The "Silver Bullet" is a hugely selling beer, propelled by the sales and marketing behind its lower calorie formulation. It's lower in calories and also way lighter in taste. Coors Banquet is the original Coors and has a richer taste.

So, pop open a gold label Coors and watch country-cool Burt Reynolds outfox a bunch of dim-witted Southern sheriffs trying to write him a speeding ticket.

NYC Quickie Travelog #5
Midtown Manhattan - Tue, 25 Mar 2025, 7:30am

It's been two nights of being up late and two mornings of being up early. Ugh.

The first was because of timezone changes. I flew to New York on Sunday. Going east, the 3 hour time change makes it hard to get to bed at night. I stayed up until 12:30am on my computer before turning out the lights but then tossed and turned in bed until almost 2. I even took a light sleeping pill that didn't seem to help.

The start of the workweek (not counting spending most of my day Sunday traveling for work) came early. My alarm rang at 6:30am. I snoozed it once and, thankfully, it turned out I didn't need to rush. My working spot for the day was just a short walk away, closer than I had estimated last week. I had time to check things on my personal computer in the morning, stop at a bagel shop on the way to work, and still get to the office before most others arrived for the workshop.

Monday was another night of being up late, though I can't blame timezone change for it. I was out with colleagues too late. The company had a reception at a rooftop bar after Monday's training/feedback. It was scheduled for just 30 minutes— the reception, that is— but lasted much longer. A few people peeled off after 30 minutes to get a proper dinner somewhere else; something about them needing "a porterhouse steak and a $200 bottle of wine". Or maybe that was how those of us left slumming it on the rooftop bar saw it. 🤣

I was with a small group that stayed until the bar closed down sometime after 11, then stumbled into another bar on the walk back to the hotel. The group stumbled into the bar. Actually, two stragglers in the group stumbled into the bar. I was already half a block ahead waiting for them to catch up when I noticed them stepping into an Irish pub. I seriously considered leaving their drunk asses there but decided instead to stick with the group... and for the same reasons I'd stuck with they already to that point. They're my team. 🙄

I finally got back to my room— no additional stumbling into bars on the rest of the walk home— a bit after midnight. I undressed and went straight to bed.

My 6:45am alarm today came early, though not quite as early as yesterday. I had spare time then so I relaxed it by 15 minutes today.

I'm feeling only slightly off from last night. Mostly that's because I did not go overboard with drinking last night. I hit the proverbial bottle hard at first, then slowed my pace of drinking— deliberately— after that. Some of my colleagues pounded down 3-4 more drinks while I nursed one. And they don't have the body mass I do. I bet they're going to be hurting when I see them at work in another hour.

Hawk and I both had birthdays recently. ...Well, recently if you count a month and a half ago for mine; less time since hers. With our birthdays falling close together and right around the winter holidays we decided years ago not to have traditional birthday parties but instead to combine our birthdays into one party and celebrate it once the holi-daze has passed. We started our tradition 11 years ago with our combined 82nd birthday. Last night we celebrated turning a whopping 104!



Ahead of the party on Saturday evening we cleaned the house on Saturday. Hawk had already done some baking on Friday. Saturday evening we decorated and set out our snacks. I made a bowl of guacamole, as is our usual. I only have a photo of the table before our guests arrived (above), not once they arrived, many bringing additional food to share. Once guests started arriving I was too busy to take another picture. Plus, the room was crowded.

Speaking of crowds, we had a good number, about 20 including ourselves. A few friends who planned to attend dropped out at the last moment for various reasons. But like I said, 20 was a good number because it fits well in our house on the main level(s) without spilling upstairs or outside.

We appreciate friends who bring food to help with the party. Friends who know I enjoy alcohol often bring a gift of a bottle. Though...



It's not really like I need more bottles. 😂 But I got a few more last night. A bottle of Scotch, a bottle of bourbon, a bottle of rum.

We also had a fun time drinking from many of those bottles in the overflowing liquor cabinet above. I started by mixing half a dozen or so margaritas then figured, "Hey, let's open the even better stuff and save time by drinking it straight!" 😂 I took a handful of our friends on a tequila tasting adventure. Then Scotch and Japanese whiskey, especially for those who didn't have to drive. BTW, I was careful to pour very small servings, about 10mL at a time (vs. a standard shot which is 50mL), so everybody could try several different types of liquor, even those who did have to drive afterward.

Would you buy a beer that's basically labeled "Beer"? And is a store brand beer? Well, what if I told you the store brand is Kirkland, the label used by Costco?

It's well known among Costco members that Costco branded products, those solder under the Kirkland store-brand name, compare favorably with leading name-brand products. Often they're actually made by one of the name-brand manufacturers. Usually it's a mystery who that is, and often it's the subject of speculation. In the alcohol department, for example, it's long been rumored that Kirkland French Vodka is made alongside France's highly regarded Grey Goose. It turns out that's not true, though it is true that the two vodkas taste very similar. Now enter a beer, Costco Lager. Except there's no mystery or pseudonym for the maker. It says right on the box: Deschutes.



I'm not normally a fan of Helles Lager, or light lager, this style of beer. But knowing that it's made by Deschutes Brewery, a well respected Oregon microbrewery whose products I've generally enjoyed, made it interesting. And the Costco pricing, almost half off what it costs to buy Deschutes under its own name, made it worth a leap.

So, after that lead-up, how does it taste? Sigh. If only the pitch matched the wind-up.

Light lager is basically the style that all American piss-water macrobrews are. Y'know, the beers that smell vaguely like day-old puke... and only taste slightly better. See also: I Drank Shit Beer and I Liked It. Kinda. 😂

Let me be clear, though: Kirkland Lager is not shit beer. It does not smell like puke, day-old or fresh. It doesn't taste like piss. It smells and tastes like... nothing, actually. It's kind of like DAB Export Lager, except where DAB tasted like "beige" or maybe "off-white", if Kirkland-by-Deschutes were a paint color it would be clear-coat. 😳

This beer just isn't enjoyable. It doesn't taste like anything. I'd rather relax with a Caffeine-free Coke Zero.

Panama Travelog #24
El Valle, Panama - Thu, 26 Dec 2024. 9pm.

In my previous blog I said I'd start posting one-a-day entries from our trip to Panama to speed things along. Here I am now, just one entry later, and I'm going to break that cadence by posting a second daily entry. I didn't even last one day. 🤣



The reason I'm breaking stride is that we've just had an amazing dinner here in El Valle. How ironic that it was only on our fourth and final night here that we figured out how to do this. Instead of solving for "What's most convenient and doesn't look terrible?" we decided to search TripAdvisor reviews with a cuisine in mind. Hawk found a well regarded Mexican restaurant that wasn't far away. Actually it was in a neighboring hotel that was so swank it made us sad all over again about the bare-bones, false-advertising place we got stuck at.



After a round of drinks and an appetizer of guacamole, our main dishes— platos fuertes, they call them in Panama— arrived. Hawk ordered two steak tacos. They came beautifully presented on a plate and with plenty more guacamole, which she loves.

Meanwhile I'd ordered a full order of birria tacos....



What landed was more like a quesadilla— and a humongous one, at that. But that was okay because what was on my mind tonight was, "Hmm, what I really want tonight is a quesadilla"! It was delicious. And it was so big I could only finish half of it.

After dinner we drove back to our dumpy, disappointing hotel. We made our usual after-dinner stop by the Rey supermarket. Rey is a chain here in Panama and is far-and-away the nicest "mini-super" in El Valle. We've gone shopping every evening to pick up a few drinks and snacks. Why every evening? Because our Spartan little hotel room doesn't even have a fridge! So every evening I've bought a bottle of soda, a snack for dessert, and two bottles of beer. Fortunately mini-supers in Panama all sell beer by the individual bottle. And Rey has an amazing selection of singles available. Even better, the single bottle price is basically just 1/6 the price of a 6-pack. Trying buying a single normal bottle of beer at a fair price in the US.... You literally can't!

I was told, in paternalistic tones, by a store's district manager when I challenged them about that once that "Selling single bottles promotes alcoholism." Sure, 7-Eleven, keep selling your refrigerated 18-packs. That's not promoting alcoholism! 🙄

One thing I've noticed as I've been periodically working on my Beer Tasting 2022 project— yes, it's still ongoing here in late 2024—is how popular premixed cocktails have become in the past few years. I'm judging that popularity by how much shelf space such drinks have taken over when I'm cruising the beer aisle at the liquor store and the grocery store. What used to be maybe half a rack of larger bottles of premixed cocktail drinks has now grown into 1/4 of the beer section. And, yes, they're sold next to beer because the category has grown and diversified with new producers selling them in packs of single serving cans.

I've long been skeptical of this category. I remember when wine coolers came out in the 1980s. At first they were made with real wine and fruit juice. The idea was create a lighter, sweeter wine-drinking experience, something like a wine spritzer drink for people who found the idea of table wine too intimidating. But within a few years the makers all switched from using real wine in their drinks to using using malt liquor, i.e., beer. Thus they also became a drink for people who can't handle beer and need it sweeter.

These "malternative" beverages always struck me as fake because most are branded to imply they contain wine or hard alcohol, when really it's just beer, sugar and artificial flavors. And the category has spawned real losers. Who else remembers Zima from the early 1990s? It launched with an enormous ad campaign. My friends and I in college tried it once. Once. Once was enough. It was downright disgusting.

And while wine coolers, Zima, and other malt beverages were advertised to be enjoyed by hip young men and women, they rapidly gained a cultural stereotype as being "girly" drinks— a thing young women, or girly men, would drink because they couldn't handle traditional wine... or even traditional beer unless it's sweetened up like Kool-Aid with sugars and artificial flavors. It's alco-pop.

Thus I mostly ignored the growing presence of canned alternative drinks in the beer aisle at the liquor store and the supermarket, kind of rolling my eyes as I strolled past to get to the real drinks instead of alco-pop. But then I noticed some of these new drinks are not just beer plus sugar masquerading as something else; some of them actually contain the liquor their branding implies!

The brand of this new type that caught my eye first is Cutwater. They're a liquor distiller based in San Diego. I'll say honestly that the reason they caught my eye is because they were on sale. Yes, I always appreciate getting a bargain! 😅 And seriously, the bright yellow "SALE!" tags are eye-catching. They're designed to be eye-catching.

A week ago I bought a four-pack of Cutwater's Mai Tai premixed cocktail. The label states it's made with two kinds of rum, actual rum as opposed to, basically, beer flavored to taste like rum. Cutwater has at least half a dozen different cocktail varieties on store shelves. I picked Mai Tai to try first because it's a cocktail I enjoy drinking but is a bit fussy to make from scratch. How often do you have orgeat syrup on hand?

So, How Does it Taste?

The question, "So, how does it taste?" can be answered a few different ways— all contextualized with, "...as compared to what?"

For a premixed cocktail Cutwater Mai Tai tastes pretty good. It has legit rum flavor. It does not taste like a beer-based facsimile. It's not a fizzy drink meant to impersonate a real cocktail. With 12.5% ABV it has a pretty good hit. One can of this is like 2 medium-strong beers or 3 lighter ones.

As a competitor to an actual Mai Tai, this Cutwater drink is barely even close. It's got a couple kinds of rum, which is on track, but then it's got fruity flavors. It's closer to being another tiki rum drink, possibly a Bahama Mama, than being a Mai Tai.

That said, as a generic tiki rum drink, it's pretty darn good. Think of it as a rum punch and there's no argument. Plus, the convenience of just opening a can and pouring over ice can't be beat. It's so easy to enjoy when going out to the pool or just settling down to watch some TV in the living room.

First off, Yes, I'm still working on my beer tasting project that I began just over 2½ years ago. I haven't written on the topic in a while... though that's not because I haven't been trying new beers. I 've tried a few in the past month or so. I'm just backlogged in blogging (not unusual).

The subject of this blog entry is Sudwerk Brewing's Amber Lager. It's a Märzen, a German lager style whose name literally means "March", as in the month. Though the beer is brewed in Davis, California, it's got a umlaut in it, so you know it's German... -ic.

Traditionally, Märzen beers were brewed in March and enjoyed at Oktoberfest... which is actually in September. Thus it's not surprising that Sudwerk tastes similar to some Oktoberfest brews... though it's in the style that was enjoyed at Oktoberfest c. 100 years ago. "Oktoberfest" isn't a specific style of beer, per se, but whatever style the big breweries that drive the celebration choose. In modern times they've shifted from amber lager to a classic light lager style.

As an amber lager, Sudwerk pours with a delicious looking reddish-brown color. The beer makes a decent head and exudes a nice, rich malty aroma. The taste is pretty much what the look and smell prepare you for as you lift the glass to your mouth. It's malty, bready, and sweet, with notes of caramel.

If anything, Sudwerk is just a tad too sweet on its own. As I drank a few sips before dinner I thought to myself, "This seems more like it should be my dessert." But the slightly over-sweet character disappears once paired with food.

With food, especially savory or rich or sloppy food, the beer really comes into its own. In this sense it was much like Gordon Biersch Märzen. "Is that pizza you're eating? Mm-mmm, I love pairing with pizza. Burgers? Heck, yeah! Barbecue chicken? Don't forget to mop up the sauce and wash it down with one last swig."

I'd had some trouble finding Sudwerk in stock. Though it's brewed in Davis, California, which is only about 100 miles away, and local stores do stock it, it seems like they're always down to their last unit or sold out. I could see making this one of my regular picks... if I could find it regularly. But before I do that I'll be curious to compare it against a few other Märzen lagers I've got in my cellar right now.

A few days ago I posted about the bottle of Piñaq liqueur I bought at Costco. I bought the pre-mixed passion fruit cocktail on a whim, largely because of the bespoke pineapple-shaped bottle. ...Which was kind of strange because it's made with passion fruit, not pineapple. But whatever, it's really catchy. 🤣



Thursday I opened it and poured a drink for myself and friends. We liked it. I liked it so much that I poured another drink for myself that evening. And then poured a drink or two for myself each of the next few nights. Which led to... after a couple drinks on Tuesday night it was gone. 😰

From unopened to finished in 6 days— that's the fastest I've ever torn through a bottle of liquor! ...Of course, this wasn't 80 proof liquor. It was just under half that strength, at 34 proof (17% alcohol). That matters because it means 2 shots is a serving. I was pouring drinks with about 80ml of the liqueur plus mixer. The math is not hard... 750ml ÷ 80ml per drink is only a bit over 9 drinks. With one for me, one for thee, then several more for me... well, that's how it lasted just 5½ days.

Would I buy Piñaq again? Uncertain. While I certainly enjoyed it, it's a question of enjoyment for the price. The bottle cost over $20. That's not breaking the bank— and is just over $2 per drink, plus the cost of mixer, following my math above. Even so, it seems like at that price I should try other liqueurs, too. Plus, I'm not sure I can buy this again! When I was at another Costco over the weekend I looked for the pineapple-shaped bottle and found none. It's unclear if this was a very limited quantity item Costco had or if it's a product one store manager might choose to stock while another chooses not to. Well, if I'm at Costco again this weekend I'll look against and least consider buying more.

Two Nights in San Diego #4
Back at the hotel - Wed, 26 Jun 2024, 9pm

This evening my two colleagues and I who traveled to San Diego for a couple of customer visits met for dinner. Perhaps this is what May, my sales colleague, intended when he told me to arrive in time for dinner last night.

Business dinner was nice. The pick of a restaurant was good. The camaraderie was good. The casual format and flow of booze helped loosen up the conversation a bit. I gained some insights I never would have heard during ordinary business hours.

Speaking of the flow of booze... it wasn't as much as you might think. We're all getting older. 😂

First, there was a "social hour" at the hotel 4-5pm with an open bar I had a free pass to as a benefit of my Marriott Lifetime Titanium status. Neither of my colleagues were interested in joining me. They wanted to go back to their rooms before dinner to rest and call their their families. I decided just to rest in my room, too. Wow, "Free beer!" is no longer enough to draw me out.

At dinner we all started with cocktails then ordered more drinks as food arrived. I was the heavy-drinking leader. I had four drinks over the course of two hours. May had three, West had two. (Despite the pseudonyms I'm using, May and West are both men. And none of us are literal lightweights.)

Early in the evening I had suggested that we could enjoy a nightcap at the hotel bar after dinner. As another elite status perk (plus a comp for being assigned an unclean room when I initially checked in) I had four free-drink coupons. May and West were both interested— before dinner. When push came to shove after dinner, though, once again "Free beer!" wasn't enough to draw any of us out. We all bade each other good night after walking back from the restaurant. I've been resting up in my room for the past 45 minutes and figure I'm in for the night now.

Recently I got to try two Mexican dark beers head-to-head. Modelo Negra has been one of my mainstays for years and is widely distributed in the US. The challenger this round, Bohemia Oscura, is, well, pretty obscure in the US. Its more common sister, Bohemia Original, is available in most stores though not as widely in restaurants as Modelo. I have a few bottles of Bohemia Oscura that I bought in Mexico a few weeks ago and hand-carried home via Phoenix Let's see how they compare!



These two beers represent the same style. They are both dark lagers. The style is also known as Munich lager (based on where the style is popular) or Vienna lager (based on the one of the varieties of hops used in their brewing).

The beers look virtually identical in the glass. The Bohemia, on the left in the photo above, looks a touch lighter than the Modelo, but that's more an artifact of the lighting than the beers themselves.

The beers taste nearly the same, too. Tasting them forward and back without food, I was hard pressed to find a difference between them. They both have the rich, sweet taste, but not overpoweringly so, that's made Modelo Negra one of my go-tos for years. I'd say the Bohemia had a slightly sweeter flavor, but the difference was barely there. I'm not sure I could tell one from the other in a blind test.

Enjoying these beers with food, their similarity continued. It was hard to tell them apart. That also means it was hard to call one better than the other. As much as I've like Modelo Negra for many years, I think the Bohemia is a hair better because of its ever-so slightly sweeter taste. Though because they are so close I wouldn't go out of my way to find Bohemia Oscura when Modelo Negra is available. ...Which means I'll be sticking with Modelo once I finish my last few bottles of Bohemia Oscura because Oscura isn't sold anywhere around here.