Getting Back to the New Normal: Eating In

One thing that's changing as lockdown lifts and life returns to normal is eating out at restaurants. When the lockdown started (actually a few days before it started) I made an abrupt change in dining habits. I went from eating restaurant food at least 12 meals a week down to 0. Zero. I didn't eat restaurant food for a month! After a month I started to do takeout, but only twice a month at first. Gradually I increased that to once a week, then to twice a week— especially as pleasant summer weather made outdoors dining a thing.

I never felt frustrated while my eating-out habit was way down; I was happy that I was cooking at home. Part of it, yeah, was knowing I was safer at home. But a bigger part of it was knowing that home-cooking was cheaper and healthier than buying restaurant food. The pandemic was kind of the kick in the pants I needed to change my habit.

All throughout the lockdown I wondered, When things return to normal will I eat at restaurants twice a day again? I hoped the new habit I created of cooking at home a lot would endure. Sure, I knew my dining-out frequency would be higher than zero; the point was, would it be significantly lower than the old 12x a week?

I'm happy to observe that over past week I've only had restaurant food 4 times. That's actually exactly what I'd set my goal at: twice during the week and twice on the weekend. I'm looking to make something around 4x/week the new normal.

A big part of what's helping me maintain this new normal is having food I enjoy at home. Yes, being forced to kick the old habit has helped. But it's not just about practice saying "No" to going out to restaurants. Any behavioral psychologist, even any dog whisperer, will tell you that to eliminate an undesirable behavior you need to replace it with a satisfying good behavior. A key to being able to eat at home, for me, has been having food I enjoy eating at home. Several times this past week I've thought, "Hmm, I could go out for lunch today..." then thought about food right in my kitchen that would make me happier overall than going out.

Applying for a Management Promotion

I'm applying for a promotion at my job. I'm looking to become the manager of the team I currently work on. I'd be managing 4 people— three current colleagues plus the position I presume I'd have to hire to backfill for myself.

This management opportunity opened up 5 or 6 weeks ago when my then-boss left the company. Our department VP told us the news at a weekly meeting and also said she'd be conducting a search soon to replace him. I reached out to her privately to express interest in the role, inquire about her process, and gauge her support for my bid.

The VP was in no rush at the time to fill the position. "It's been a while since I've managed individual contributors, and I'd like to do it again for a bit," she explained. "Plus I need to revise the job requirements and I'm not sure how quickly I'll get to that." As for whether she'd support me, she said yes. But she also made clear that the company was going to do a full talent search, considering internal and external candidates, and that I'd have to compete against everyone else who sought the job.

The combination of the wait time followed by a full talent search made me wonder if the VP was answering a soft "No" to my bid for a promotion. I checked with a colleague who was promoted in a different department a year ago; he said it was similar for him. His direct boss and grand-boss made clear to him, almost to the point of being demeaning about it, that he was just one of many candidates being considered. Ultimately he got the job, though, because the truth was they both liked him.