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Canada travelog #5
Toronto, ON · Sat, 23 Aug 2025. 4pm.
Did you think I had my sarcasm on during my previous blog about (s)trolling through an art gallery? Oh, those were just the first few rounds. To quote Captain America, I can do this all day.
I did feel a little bad, though, that I was pissing on something our host was sincerely interested in. But my sarcasm was fueled in part by my resentment at what I considered his poor judgment in hosting. Long-lost relatives have traveled thousands of miles, at considerable cost to themselves, to see family thought dead for 3 generations, and his idea of a family reunion activity is, "Let's visit an art gallery together"? Especially a modern art gallery? ...Modern art being essentially a reverse intelligence test to figure out who's sharp enough to say, "No, this is mostly bullshit."
Well, while most of the rest of the group was acting like appropriate cowed peasants in the vaunted MoDeRn ArT GaLLeRy, my brother-in-law and I continued carrying on about how the emperor was still wearing no clothes. I've got to give our host credit, though. While Marty I and continued to snark about something he clearly loved, he continued to gently, and without offense, serenade us with notes about what we were seeing. I had to respect his patience. If this guy was tedious, he was at least professor emeritus of tedium. 🤣
I did kind of let him have it with both barrels in one of the exhibits. I think it was his favorite artist.
After a few hours of strolling— and trolling— at the Art Gallery of Ontario some in our party were ready for a meal. I wasn't hungry as I'd eaten right before getting to the museum. That's a pro tip I learned as a kid while being dragged to bullshit museums. Always eat first. But I was ready for a drink. This art gallery, to its credit, had a fully stocked bar at the front!
The gallery bar, unfortunately, was closed for the afternoon when we got to the front. That puzzled me a bit.... The bar was open at lunch. It was closed at 4pm. Ergo: gallery goers are day drinkers?
Perhaps the art teacher heard me half-joking about how I was ready for 2 fingers of Scotch. We ended up going across the street to the Village Idiot.
The Village Idiot is a pub. 🤣 And I think the actual reason we landed there was not because anyone cared about me saying viewing modern art makes me turn to drink— though that would be apropos as from what I've seen most modern artists have drinking or other drug problems— but because the Village Idiot also serves food and is the closest non-ethnic restaurant to the museum.
Knocking back first one, then two, 20s of imported beer while sharing a plate of wings with my mother-in-law and her long-lost cousin-in-law, Ruth, was a nice cap to the afternoon. BTW, it's comical to me that MIL and Ruth are related only by marriage, not blood, because they look like they could be sisters.
Speaking of Ruth, as she knocked back one of those tall boys of beer— I was a bit buzzed after two and I'm nearly three times her size—she tried to apologize for the art teacher "boring" us with his lessons. I smiled and shared how I'm impressed the borer took no visible offense to my responses. 🤣
Toronto, ON · Sat, 23 Aug 2025. 4pm.
Did you think I had my sarcasm on during my previous blog about (s)trolling through an art gallery? Oh, those were just the first few rounds. To quote Captain America, I can do this all day.
I did feel a little bad, though, that I was pissing on something our host was sincerely interested in. But my sarcasm was fueled in part by my resentment at what I considered his poor judgment in hosting. Long-lost relatives have traveled thousands of miles, at considerable cost to themselves, to see family thought dead for 3 generations, and his idea of a family reunion activity is, "Let's visit an art gallery together"? Especially a modern art gallery? ...Modern art being essentially a reverse intelligence test to figure out who's sharp enough to say, "No, this is mostly bullshit."
Well, while most of the rest of the group was acting like appropriate cowed peasants in the vaunted MoDeRn ArT GaLLeRy, my brother-in-law and I continued carrying on about how the emperor was still wearing no clothes. I've got to give our host credit, though. While Marty I and continued to snark about something he clearly loved, he continued to gently, and without offense, serenade us with notes about what we were seeing. I had to respect his patience. If this guy was tedious, he was at least professor emeritus of tedium. 🤣
I did kind of let him have it with both barrels in one of the exhibits. I think it was his favorite artist.
After a few hours of strolling— and trolling— at the Art Gallery of Ontario some in our party were ready for a meal. I wasn't hungry as I'd eaten right before getting to the museum. That's a pro tip I learned as a kid while being dragged to bullshit museums. Always eat first. But I was ready for a drink. This art gallery, to its credit, had a fully stocked bar at the front!
The gallery bar, unfortunately, was closed for the afternoon when we got to the front. That puzzled me a bit.... The bar was open at lunch. It was closed at 4pm. Ergo: gallery goers are day drinkers?
Perhaps the art teacher heard me half-joking about how I was ready for 2 fingers of Scotch. We ended up going across the street to the Village Idiot.
The Village Idiot is a pub. 🤣 And I think the actual reason we landed there was not because anyone cared about me saying viewing modern art makes me turn to drink— though that would be apropos as from what I've seen most modern artists have drinking or other drug problems— but because the Village Idiot also serves food and is the closest non-ethnic restaurant to the museum.
Knocking back first one, then two, 20s of imported beer while sharing a plate of wings with my mother-in-law and her long-lost cousin-in-law, Ruth, was a nice cap to the afternoon. BTW, it's comical to me that MIL and Ruth are related only by marriage, not blood, because they look like they could be sisters.
Speaking of Ruth, as she knocked back one of those tall boys of beer— I was a bit buzzed after two and I'm nearly three times her size—she tried to apologize for the art teacher "boring" us with his lessons. I smiled and shared how I'm impressed the borer took no visible offense to my responses. 🤣
