canyonwalker: Uh-oh, physics (Wile E. Coyote)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
For years I've sneered at the idea of pineapple on a pizza. Basically since I first learned that some people eat pineapple on a pizza— which I think was in college, because none of the pizzerias in my hometown even offered pineapple as a topping— I've sneered at it. "It's definitely food, but it's not pizza!" I said many times.

Well, there's another thing I've said many times. It's okay to hate a food, but you're got to at least try it first.

Do you see the conflict here? Immovable wall, meet irresistible force.

Today I decided I would actually try pineapple on a pizza. I figured either of two good things would happen. One, I'd discover a delicious new type of pizza. Or, two, I'd become fully validated in sneering at pineapple "pizza" for the rest of my life. 🤣

PINEAPPLE on a PIZZA? I give it a try! (Mar 2023)

Today I ordered a pepperoni and pineapple pizza. Ham and pineapple is the usual combo you see with pineapple pizza. I chose pepperoni instead because I'd read that its savoriness better complements the pineapple's sweetness. Ham has a much milder flavor that lets the pineapple's sweetness dominate. I didn't want an overly sweet pizza. Plus, I really like pepperoni.

So, how was it?

I knew after the first bite that pineapple as pizza topping isn't to my taste. It's too sweet. I picked off half of the bits of pineapple and finished the first slice. Still too sweet. Then I picked off pretty much all the rest of the pineapple.

Pineapple on a pizza? Yeah, no thanks. (Mar 2023)

By the time I was done I had a pile of pineapple chunks in the pizza box. I nibbled on a few of them as I ate the now-pepperoni pizza so the sweetness could contrast the meat's savoriness. But I really wished I had something else to provide a touch of sweetness, like hot-and-sweet peppers.

Conclusion: pineapple pizza is wrong. It's for people who can't decide whether they want a proper pizza or a piña colada and try to split the difference.

(And BTW, a piña colada is a terrible drink to have with a pizza. The flavor combinations would all be wrong, just like here.)
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canyonwalker

May 2025

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