canyonwalker | (Reply)

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I have anxiety dreams fairly frequently --several times a year! This past year was, I think, a bad year for them. I always have a few in mid-late August as the school year ramps up, and a very frequent theme is being unprepared for teaching, which is honestly less anxiety provoking and more funny these days. It doesn't actually happen that I would be forced to teach a third grade art classroom on zero notice (I'm a high school math teacher) so when I wake, it's mostly just funny.

And honestly, of late I've noticed that even the anxiety dreams have me doing my fiercely competent best to keep things humming along even when the circumstances are unideal. This might be because I'm decent at fighting back in dreams --not full lucid dreaming, but maybe my unconscious self thinks highly of what I can do.

I've noticed a similar path in the sexual assault dreams I used to get regularly, starting when I was fifteen or so. Somewhere in my early twenties (after my real life abusive relationship at age 17/18), I began to consistently fight back in those dreams. Run away, look for safety, avoid the people hurting me. I would wake up feeling empowered instead of scared! My dream!self is pretty badass, honestly.

~Sor