Bachelor for 2 Nights

[canyonwalker]

I'm a bachelor for the next 2 nights. Well, not technically. I'm still married. But my wife is away on a business trip, so I'm leading the life of a bachelor tonight and tomorrow night.

Yes, she's back to business travel before I am! Her trip is a company offsite with other senior managers. My first business trip after a 2 year break is still 5 weeks away.

So, what am I doing with my pseudo-bachelor self? Honestly, little different than I'd do if my wife were here. I went shopping at the liquor store after work this afternoon. I was planning on doing that this weekend but the schedule didn't work out. When I got home from that I cooked myself dinner... or should I say, reheated leftovers. Tonight maybe I'll flip on the TV and see if I can find an interesting movie streaming. That's the one thing that would be different from an evening together.

Comments

[canyonwalker]

Don't feel annoyed by the assumption. I'm not. I'm just intrigued by it because I try to be inclusive in how I think and express myself. I always figure my cis-male-ness will shine through unconsciously anyway. When it doesn't I try to learn from what happened.

BTW, Hawk often is assumed to be a guy online. One, her name is seen as masculine— even though hawks, the wild predators, are both male and female. Two, in many forums, the default assumption of male-ness is supported by the fact men are the majority, sometimes the lopsided majority, of participants. And three, she eschews traditional gender norms. You won't see her writing about makeup or shoe shopping (except to complain occasionally how all but a few brands/styles are impractical). Though if you read Ask A Manager (the forum) a lot, you've almost certainly seen her write there.

Finally, I actually agree with your shorthand that anyone writing a blog about themselves— not strictly about external things like books, movies, or sports— is likely female. Writing (or speaking) about oneself requires a willingness to be vulnerable. Expressing vulnerability is very much not a traditional male trait. (I endured frequent finger-wagging about this from acquaintances and even family when I was younger.)

[merhawk]

I’m often assumed to be a guy offline as well, due to my short hair, lack of skirts & dresses & makeup, along with only wearing pants with pockets so I never wear a purse. My chest makes it clear my gender, though.

Except I have decades of experience that show people look at your hair first because I get misgendered *all the time* for male. It doesn’t bother me - people should pay more attention than one trait to figure out who a person is. However, it tells me a lot about the people who misgender me, and most of it is bad. The stuttering and apologizes they give me show very clearly how they hold tight to traditional gender norms.