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canyonwalkerA woman in northern Italy died in her house more than 2 years ago and wasn't discovered until last Friday. She had no family and no friends to check up on her. Neighbors thought she moved away at the start of the pandemic. Authorities only discovered her body after acting on complaints that her yard was overgrown. Example news coverage: CNN article "Body of 70-year-old Italian woman found sitting in chair, two years after her death" (9 Feb 2022).
The thought of someone dying alone and their departure not even being noticed for 24+ months is sad. It also touches close to home because Hawk or I will ultimately live alone. One of us will pass before the other. When other of us passes, will it be days, week, months, or years before anyone notices?
One way I think about this is through the experience of older relatives. Both of my grandmothers lived alone in their homes for decades. They weren't alone-alone, though, because they had family. As often as my grandma "Cici" moaned nobody cares about me anymore, she did get several telephone calls a week from her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids, and at about one visit a week to her house.
Cici wasn't in the same situation as the Italian woman who died. Cici had a big family. This is where it hits me personally because I don't have kids. At some point I (or Hawk) will be 70, 80, or older, with parents passed, brothers and sisters passed or in declining health; will our nieces and nephews think about us? Will our friends or neighbors notice not seeing us for 2 years— other than complaining to the authorities if our grass is overgrown or bills are unpaid?
This is another thing that was sad about the story from Italy. The woman was only 70. Only 70. My grandmothers were young-old when they were 70. They drove themselves to religious services every week, they knew their neighbors, they had friends in the community that they engaged in activities with... not a lot, really, but more than zero. More than would think nothing's amiss if they disappeared for 2 years.
So, to me, that's the point: stay engaged. Stay engaged with family, even if they're not direct descendants. Stay engaged with friends. Stay engaged in the community. Especially at 70. That's too young to go unnoticed for 2 years.
The thought of someone dying alone and their departure not even being noticed for 24+ months is sad. It also touches close to home because Hawk or I will ultimately live alone. One of us will pass before the other. When other of us passes, will it be days, week, months, or years before anyone notices?
One way I think about this is through the experience of older relatives. Both of my grandmothers lived alone in their homes for decades. They weren't alone-alone, though, because they had family. As often as my grandma "Cici" moaned nobody cares about me anymore, she did get several telephone calls a week from her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids, and at about one visit a week to her house.
Cici wasn't in the same situation as the Italian woman who died. Cici had a big family. This is where it hits me personally because I don't have kids. At some point I (or Hawk) will be 70, 80, or older, with parents passed, brothers and sisters passed or in declining health; will our nieces and nephews think about us? Will our friends or neighbors notice not seeing us for 2 years— other than complaining to the authorities if our grass is overgrown or bills are unpaid?
This is another thing that was sad about the story from Italy. The woman was only 70. Only 70. My grandmothers were young-old when they were 70. They drove themselves to religious services every week, they knew their neighbors, they had friends in the community that they engaged in activities with... not a lot, really, but more than zero. More than would think nothing's amiss if they disappeared for 2 years.
So, to me, that's the point: stay engaged. Stay engaged with family, even if they're not direct descendants. Stay engaged with friends. Stay engaged in the community. Especially at 70. That's too young to go unnoticed for 2 years.
no subject
Date: 2022-02-11 11:22 am (UTC)~Sor
1: Scottish Country Dancing (my dearest love?) where at age 32 I *think* I'm the youngest fully certificated teacher of the two dozen in the Boston branch2. Meanwhile I attended a zoom birthday party for a change ringer turning 80, even though we've only met a handful of times, he remembered me and was able to enthusiastically talk with me about ringing things I've been doing recently.
2: ...which spans from Maine to Albany through all of Massachusetts, but not CT (covered by the New Haven branch)
no subject
Date: 2022-02-11 05:08 pm (UTC)