Feeling More Checked Out by the Day
Feb. 11th, 2026 06:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
canyonwalkerSan Diego SKO travelog #4
Intercontinental Hotel · Wed, 11 Feb 2026. 5:30pm.
SKO Day 3 was both tough and not so tough. It was tough because a) we started early, with breakfast at 7am (which I mostly skipped) and training starting at 8, and b) because some of the seminars spawned so many questions— and because so many people in my department frankly like to hear themselves talk and be seen as "smart" for having an opinion on everything— that I lost the thread a few times on what the presenters were actually trying to say. Several times when a person grabbed a mic to ask yet-another disruptive, self serving question and began with, "May I ask a question?" I actually said aloud from my seat, "Please don't."
But the day was also less tough than it could have been because we finished up at about 4:45. Of course that was later than expected; we ran over schedule because of all the questions. And there was another activity starting at 4:45, a company-sponsored charity activity. I noped out out that and went up to my room to relax. I needed to unwind. Plus, I'm skeptical of contributing to a charity via a for-profit company as Corporate America does such things for positive PR on the face of it while taking a tax write-off for it on the back end.
There's also another big reason today wasn't as tough as it could have been. That reason is I just don't care that much. I've mentioned several times in this blog, most recently Monday, that I intend to leave my job soon. Since Monday I have been feeling more and more mentally checked-out each day since then.
This sense of I don't care/I don't have to (it's like I'm the phone company!) is liberating because if I did care, if I expected to be here more than another few weeks, I'd be feeling pretty stressed about all the new bullshit I could see myself having to deal with coming out of this SKO. There's been a recent reorg that was bullshit, reassigning me to a manager who routinely pisses me off because he doesn't understand my work and refuses to listen to me about it, there are new products and sales techniques to learn, and there's a widening gap growing between what expectations my sales colleagues are being given about what we SEs will be ready to sell, versus what we're actually ready (meaning do we have sufficient enablement, training, infrastructure, and organizational support) to sell. I will be so happy not to have to be the bad guy for the next few months telling sales people "No, that's not possible" when they come to me all gung-ho with inappropriate expectations set for them by senior leaders who goddamn know better.
Intercontinental Hotel · Wed, 11 Feb 2026. 5:30pm.
SKO Day 3 was both tough and not so tough. It was tough because a) we started early, with breakfast at 7am (which I mostly skipped) and training starting at 8, and b) because some of the seminars spawned so many questions— and because so many people in my department frankly like to hear themselves talk and be seen as "smart" for having an opinion on everything— that I lost the thread a few times on what the presenters were actually trying to say. Several times when a person grabbed a mic to ask yet-another disruptive, self serving question and began with, "May I ask a question?" I actually said aloud from my seat, "Please don't."
But the day was also less tough than it could have been because we finished up at about 4:45. Of course that was later than expected; we ran over schedule because of all the questions. And there was another activity starting at 4:45, a company-sponsored charity activity. I noped out out that and went up to my room to relax. I needed to unwind. Plus, I'm skeptical of contributing to a charity via a for-profit company as Corporate America does such things for positive PR on the face of it while taking a tax write-off for it on the back end.
There's also another big reason today wasn't as tough as it could have been. That reason is I just don't care that much. I've mentioned several times in this blog, most recently Monday, that I intend to leave my job soon. Since Monday I have been feeling more and more mentally checked-out each day since then.
This sense of I don't care/I don't have to (it's like I'm the phone company!) is liberating because if I did care, if I expected to be here more than another few weeks, I'd be feeling pretty stressed about all the new bullshit I could see myself having to deal with coming out of this SKO. There's been a recent reorg that was bullshit, reassigning me to a manager who routinely pisses me off because he doesn't understand my work and refuses to listen to me about it, there are new products and sales techniques to learn, and there's a widening gap growing between what expectations my sales colleagues are being given about what we SEs will be ready to sell, versus what we're actually ready (meaning do we have sufficient enablement, training, infrastructure, and organizational support) to sell. I will be so happy not to have to be the bad guy for the next few months telling sales people "No, that's not possible" when they come to me all gung-ho with inappropriate expectations set for them by senior leaders who goddamn know better.
