Staying Out 'Til the Street Lights Come On
May. 3rd, 2026 05:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
canyonwalkerThere's a phrase I see used a lot in comparisons about raising kids these days vs. how people in my age cohort grew up. Back in the day "We stayed out 'til the street lights came on." For me that isn't exactly true; my quiet, suburban neighborhood didn't have street lights when I was a kid! But aside from that little detail the idea tracks. From an early age that would send a lot of today's parents into fits of terror I was not just allowed to, but expected to, range freely around the neighborhood. The only requirement was that I be home before dinner or before it started getting dark, whichever came first.
Here are Five Things about staying out 'til the (notional) street lights came on:
1) My free-ranging started at age 7, also when I started public school. After attending public school for kindergarten I went to a parochial school for 1st and 2nd grade. It was 15 miles away, so my parents drove me. At 3rd grade I switched back to public school. I believe this connected to being allowed to free-range around the neighborhood because all of a sudden I had a lot more friends in the neighborhood.
2) We walked to school, pretty much every day. My elementary school was just under 1/2 mile away. I learned that detail at a very young age because school buses only served people who lived over 1/2 mile away. From age 7 I was trusted to walk with my younger sister to and from school. Walking to/from school was very common back then. Out of ~600 students in grades K-5 at that school, only about 30% rode buses and fewer than 10% got picked up/dropped off in cars. Hundreds of us kids walked every day— even in the rain. And yes, it was uphill both ways. 😅
3) Mom always wanted to know, "Where are you going?"— but it loosened with age. Being a free range kid wasn't a binary thing, like at 7 all rules disappeared. It happened gradually, as my parents built trust in my ability to be on my own. Mom always wanted to know where we were— but the range of acceptable answers, and the vagueness of those answers, increased over time. At age 7 it was "I'll be in the back yard," or "I'm going across the street to Lori & Benji's house." At age 8 it was, "I'm riding my bike to Jeremy's" a few blocks away. By age 10 it was, "We're biking to the movie theater."
4) This was all way before cell phones. Once we were out of the house, we were out of contact. Yeah, if we were at a person's house, my mom could call their number. In practice she never did. Never. And it was uncommon we actually stayed at a person's house anyway. Often we might hang out there for a bit then go ride bikes somewhere. We could be gone for hours. And it was okay.
5) This was a common experience growing up in the late 1970s & early 80s. I am in Gen X. No, I'm not a Boomer. These are not stories from back in the time of black-and-white TV shows, where everyone was white, middle-class, and happy. We were the generation later called latch-key kids, because when economic realities forced our mothers to start working outside the home, we had to carry house keys to let ourselves in when we got home from school and then take care of ourselves for a few hours.
Here are Five Things about staying out 'til the (notional) street lights came on:
1) My free-ranging started at age 7, also when I started public school. After attending public school for kindergarten I went to a parochial school for 1st and 2nd grade. It was 15 miles away, so my parents drove me. At 3rd grade I switched back to public school. I believe this connected to being allowed to free-range around the neighborhood because all of a sudden I had a lot more friends in the neighborhood.
2) We walked to school, pretty much every day. My elementary school was just under 1/2 mile away. I learned that detail at a very young age because school buses only served people who lived over 1/2 mile away. From age 7 I was trusted to walk with my younger sister to and from school. Walking to/from school was very common back then. Out of ~600 students in grades K-5 at that school, only about 30% rode buses and fewer than 10% got picked up/dropped off in cars. Hundreds of us kids walked every day— even in the rain. And yes, it was uphill both ways. 😅
3) Mom always wanted to know, "Where are you going?"— but it loosened with age. Being a free range kid wasn't a binary thing, like at 7 all rules disappeared. It happened gradually, as my parents built trust in my ability to be on my own. Mom always wanted to know where we were— but the range of acceptable answers, and the vagueness of those answers, increased over time. At age 7 it was "I'll be in the back yard," or "I'm going across the street to Lori & Benji's house." At age 8 it was, "I'm riding my bike to Jeremy's" a few blocks away. By age 10 it was, "We're biking to the movie theater."
4) This was all way before cell phones. Once we were out of the house, we were out of contact. Yeah, if we were at a person's house, my mom could call their number. In practice she never did. Never. And it was uncommon we actually stayed at a person's house anyway. Often we might hang out there for a bit then go ride bikes somewhere. We could be gone for hours. And it was okay.
5) This was a common experience growing up in the late 1970s & early 80s. I am in Gen X. No, I'm not a Boomer. These are not stories from back in the time of black-and-white TV shows, where everyone was white, middle-class, and happy. We were the generation later called latch-key kids, because when economic realities forced our mothers to start working outside the home, we had to carry house keys to let ourselves in when we got home from school and then take care of ourselves for a few hours.
