Worst First Date
Jan. 7th, 2021 07:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
canyonwalkerToday I saw the hashtag #WorstFirstDate about, well, people's worst first dates. It's promoted by TV host Jimmy Fallon, presumably to share on his show, or at least remind people he's still relevant. My worst first date was quite a number of years ago... so it's apropos I saw on Thursday, aka #TBT - Throwback Thursday. For this story set your wayback machine to 1994.
BTW, when I told my wife I remember my worst first date after all these years, she asked, "Is it the one when I threw up?"
Ha ha, no. That wasn't a first date. It was a third date, depending on how you count it. And in the grand scheme of all dates it was only the second worst. 😅
One of the things I did to broaden my horizons was join a singles group. Of course, since I was an Internet geek, it was an online group. We had a mailing list and a newsgroup! (No, it wasn't rasfwrj!)
As was typical of online forums back then it was about two-thirds guys. Some would call it a failure right there, though I note that a) even 2/3 was better than the 85~90% male ratio in my studies, and b) I enjoyed being friends with some of the guys, too. Through that group I met several women I enjoyed hanging out with in group settings and a few I at least considered asking on dates. One was "Kayla".
Two days after the party I followed up with her. I looked up her email address on the invite list. She responded positively, writing back that she had a good time at the party and enjoyed the brief conversation with me, too. Yes! Even better, she accepted my invitation to go on a date the following Saturday. Double Yes! She advised that she was a low-key kind of person, so we agreed she'd come over to my place (a house I shared with 4 other grads) and watch a movie together. Woohoo, Netflix and chill, 1994 style!
Even worse, the real Kayla was physically unattractive. She was a fair bit older than me (at age 22 I wasn't ready to date women 30+)and extremely overweight. With that on top of the mistaken identity I considered asking her to leave right then and there, but honestly I was so embarrassed by my mistake to admit it. Plus, I figured, maybe she had a great personality. I'd give it a chance.
We sat down on the sofa and chatted a bit before starting our movie. I quickly found she wasn't that attractive on the inside, either. Her personality was bland, seeming mostly to be about acquiescing to what other people wanted to do. She had a none-too-great job that she didn't care about, she didn't have any hobbies that excited her, and she seemed neither particularly smart nor intellectually curious— two things that have always been important to me. ...Actually, all these qualities have always been important to me. 0/5 wasn't a great start.
Watching the movie was a welcome respite. No more small talk with a dull person! But then she started getting... handsy. She tried putting her arm around me on the sofa and playing with my hair. I sat still like a statue. She started edging closer on the sofa. I leaned away. Toward the end of the movie she leaned in for a kiss. I was trying to be polite but I think I physically recoiled!
The date ended quickly and quietly after that. Kayla knew it wasn't clicking. I appreciate that she didn't keep trying. She left my house and drove home.
We never exchanged messages again after that. I was still too embarrassed by my mistake— or how I was misled— to come clean about what happened. I ghosted her. ...Not that she had tried reaching out to me, either. All I can imagine is that she'd experienced rejection enough times to know when to drop it and move on.
BTW, when I told my wife I remember my worst first date after all these years, she asked, "Is it the one when I threw up?"
Ha ha, no. That wasn't a first date. It was a third date, depending on how you count it. And in the grand scheme of all dates it was only the second worst. 😅
The Singles Newsgroup
I was in my first year of graduate school. After barely even attempting to date in college I was determined to "get out there" a bit as I entered the next stage in my life. That year I pursued more opportunities to meet women and dated a few.One of the things I did to broaden my horizons was join a singles group. Of course, since I was an Internet geek, it was an online group. We had a mailing list and a newsgroup! (No, it wasn't rasfwrj!)
As was typical of online forums back then it was about two-thirds guys. Some would call it a failure right there, though I note that a) even 2/3 was better than the 85~90% male ratio in my studies, and b) I enjoyed being friends with some of the guys, too. Through that group I met several women I enjoyed hanging out with in group settings and a few I at least considered asking on dates. One was "Kayla".
Netflix and Chill, 1994 Style!
"Kayla" was a gal I met at a house party. There were about 30 people there. I recall she seemed to spend a lot of time in the kitchen, chatting in a tight group with 2 other women who I think were already friends of hers. I found her attractive. I chatted her up for a bit when I went to grab a beer from the fridge. Her friends seemed a bit jealous of me taking away attention from them, but I thought "Kayla" and I clicked, even if just for a brief time.Two days after the party I followed up with her. I looked up her email address on the invite list. She responded positively, writing back that she had a good time at the party and enjoyed the brief conversation with me, too. Yes! Even better, she accepted my invitation to go on a date the following Saturday. Double Yes! She advised that she was a low-key kind of person, so we agreed she'd come over to my place (a house I shared with 4 other grads) and watch a movie together. Woohoo, Netflix and chill, 1994 style!
Mistaken Identity 😰
When Kayla knocked on my door at 8pm Saturday I was shocked. It turned out that Kayla wasn't "Kayla"! She wasn't the woman I met at the party. Nowadays guys talk about being "wrong-numbered" when a gal gives them a fake telephone number at a bar or a party; had I been wrong-named?!Even worse, the real Kayla was physically unattractive. She was a fair bit older than me (at age 22 I wasn't ready to date women 30+)and extremely overweight. With that on top of the mistaken identity I considered asking her to leave right then and there, but honestly I was so embarrassed by my mistake to admit it. Plus, I figured, maybe she had a great personality. I'd give it a chance.
We sat down on the sofa and chatted a bit before starting our movie. I quickly found she wasn't that attractive on the inside, either. Her personality was bland, seeming mostly to be about acquiescing to what other people wanted to do. She had a none-too-great job that she didn't care about, she didn't have any hobbies that excited her, and she seemed neither particularly smart nor intellectually curious— two things that have always been important to me. ...Actually, all these qualities have always been important to me. 0/5 wasn't a great start.
On With the Movie. And the... Hands 😨
We started up the movie. I don't even remember what it was, though it was something from the rental stores we agreed to during the week I had picked up that afternoon. Yes, "Netflix and Chill 1994 style" was years before Netflix existed! Back then renting a movie meant going to a store and picking up physical media!Watching the movie was a welcome respite. No more small talk with a dull person! But then she started getting... handsy. She tried putting her arm around me on the sofa and playing with my hair. I sat still like a statue. She started edging closer on the sofa. I leaned away. Toward the end of the movie she leaned in for a kiss. I was trying to be polite but I think I physically recoiled!
The date ended quickly and quietly after that. Kayla knew it wasn't clicking. I appreciate that she didn't keep trying. She left my house and drove home.
We never exchanged messages again after that. I was still too embarrassed by my mistake— or how I was misled— to come clean about what happened. I ghosted her. ...Not that she had tried reaching out to me, either. All I can imagine is that she'd experienced rejection enough times to know when to drop it and move on.
