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Talking to My Mother
Feb. 26th, 2026 08:15 pmI caught up with my mom today about my retirement. Yes, it took days to talk to her about it. Though she might have heard it a few days ago from my sister.
My mom's not the most in-touch person anymore. She lives with my youngest sister, which is probably also the only reason, short of moving to a managed care home, she doesn't perish of self-neglect. She keeps odd hours and doesn't like to answer the phone.
Nobody else in the house answers the phone, either. The landline phone, that is. Everyone else has a mobile phone and views the landline as a laughable anachronism. The landline's there for my mom, who doesn't have a mobile phone and doesn't want one. And despite being the only person in the house who'll use it, she almost never answer it when it rings.
Getting in touch with my mom often involves several steps:
So, we finally chatted today. She's happy for me but also feels old that her kids are now retiring. I get that. I suggested she look at the positive side of it: she's lived long enough to see the first of her kids retire. My dad didn't live that long. He was older than her, but she's now 2 years old than his age at death. I didn't remind her of that. But I did I remind her she's lived long enough to see her first great-grandchild. Of course, that great-grandchild's grandma is my sister. My younger sister.
My mom's not the most in-touch person anymore. She lives with my youngest sister, which is probably also the only reason, short of moving to a managed care home, she doesn't perish of self-neglect. She keeps odd hours and doesn't like to answer the phone.
Nobody else in the house answers the phone, either. The landline phone, that is. Everyone else has a mobile phone and views the landline as a laughable anachronism. The landline's there for my mom, who doesn't have a mobile phone and doesn't want one. And despite being the only person in the house who'll use it, she almost never answer it when it rings.
Getting in touch with my mom often involves several steps:
- Call the landline phone. Nobody answers.
- Often try step #1 again a few hours later, or earlier the next day, with the same result.
- Text my sister to ask if they're at home and when mom's even up. Ask her to tell mom to answer the phone.
- Sister texts me back a few days later to say mom has tried calling me but keeps getting a busy signal. NOTE: my phone is a cell phone with call-waiting and digital voicemail. Aside from when a system wide failure occurs, callers will not get a busy signal. Mom's dialing the wrong number.
- Sister writes my number on a piece of paper for Mom and makes sure she can read it. It's the same number I've had since 2005. It is not one of the older numbers Mom might still have in her address book.
- We finally get in touch.
So, we finally chatted today. She's happy for me but also feels old that her kids are now retiring. I get that. I suggested she look at the positive side of it: she's lived long enough to see the first of her kids retire. My dad didn't live that long. He was older than her, but she's now 2 years old than his age at death. I didn't remind her of that. But I did I remind her she's lived long enough to see her first great-grandchild. Of course, that great-grandchild's grandma is my sister. My younger sister.
