Tales & Trails of a Traveling Wiseguy

Thanksgiving '22 Travelog #2
Woodbridge, VA - Sat, 19 Nov 2022, 9am

Three hours. That's the answer to the question I posed in my previous blog. That's how many hours of sleep I got while crammed aboard a 5 hour overnight flight in coach class.

The flight was fairly uneventful. At least during the 2 hours of it I wasn't asleep. It took me a while to nod off because the seating position isn't conducive to falling asleep. And then once I awoke just before 3am California time (6am destination time) I couldn't get back to sleep.

Putting on my headset and listening to my music helped the remaining time go faster. In fact, it was a bit of a revelation to have my tunes going, because they blocked out the ridiculously large number of totally insipid announcements the flight attendants were making on the public address system. I know they were insipid because I dutifully paused my music to get the gist of what they were talking about... most of the time. After their minute-plus infomercial for the United Airlines credit card I decided I know enough about commercial aviation to recognize when something urgent is occurring, and blocked out everything else they had to say. I know the drill on wearing seat belts, staying seated, and being careful when opening the overhead bins.

I continued blocking out insipid stuff while navigating through Dulles Airport. Man, busy airports are a lot more peaceful when you don't hear anything except your own soundtrack. And again the music helped pass the time; getting through Dulles takes a long time because of the way it's laid out.

As a result I didn't get to my rental car until 8:00, after having landed at 7:20. But once I had keys in hand I made good time down to my hotel.

Home Away From Home, I titled this entry. That's what this Courtyard Hotel feels like. Between it and the Springhill Suites next door, I've stayed here more times than I can count. These have been my usual places for staying when I've visited my family 10+ years.

Update: Oops, I forgot to include a picture of my Home Away From Home. It's a few blogs later.

High Desert Weekend Trip-log #3
Grapevine, CA - Sat, 26 Mar 2022, 9:30am

🎵 I bet you're wondering how I knew
About your plans to make me blue
With some other guy that you knew before
Between the two of us guys you know I loved you more
It took me by surprise I must say
When I found out the other day
Oo-ooh, I heard it through the grapevine 🎵

...Haha, no, not that grapevine. Instead, not long after leaving Bakersfield and continuing our drive south in California, we've reached "The Grapevine".



"The Grapevine" is a popular if also inaccurate name for a steep mountain grade along Interstate 5 where the road quickly ascends from the flat San Joaquin Valley into the Tehachapi Mountains. In the course of only 10 miles it climbs from near sea level to over 4,000' at the Tejon Pass.

I mention that "The Grapevine" is an inaccurate name. The mountains are the Tehachapi, the pass is the Tejon.... Grapevine is actually the name of a tiny, tiny town, little more than just a dot on a map, at the base of the mountains. But because that roadsign that says Grapevine— the one you can see in the picture— is the only indicator there, millions of Californians for generations have come to know these mountains as The Grapevine.

Why does it matter what these mountains are called? From a perspective of naming, it doesn't matter a lot. Place names change as new people rename them. Often a place is known by 2 or more names at the same time. The mountain's the mountain whether you call it Tehachapi, Tejon, The Grapevine, or Shirley.

But whether you call it Tehachapi, Tejon, The Grapevine, or Shirley (don't call it Shirley), it's an important landmark for millions of Californians and visitors. The Grapevine is not just an inspiring sight, especially now early in the Spring with green grass covering its flanks and riots of wildflowers clinging to the canyon walls higher up, but also a geographical and cultural boundary. North of the Grapevine you're in the Central Valley. Once in the Grapevine, and especially once south of the first pass, you're in Southern California.

Up next: Poppies!

"The heat is on, on the street" Glenn Frey sang in the soundtrack of the 1984 hit film Beverly Hills Cop (IMDb link). Well, as of this morning the heat is on, in my house.


In these shoulder seasons between summer and winter we like to skip running the heat or AC, instead opening and closing windows strategically to moderate temps inside the house. The weather becoming cool enough that we need to turning on the heat indoors is one of my unofficial gauges of the changing season.

Well, after warm temperatures a week or 10 days ago the weather turned back toward normal then dipped a bit below average. The past few nights it's dropped to lows of around 50° F.  I've awoken to find the thermometer connected to the heater downstairs registering 65° F (18° C) indoors. Upstairs, where we sleep, it's warmer. But this morning it was cool enough in the rest of the house that I turned on the heat and set it at a conservative 69° F.

Winter's Coming!

Northwest Return Travelog #12
Joseph, OR - Sat, 31 Jul 2021. 3:30pm.

On our way back to our hotel in Clarkston we stopped in Joseph, Oregon to see Chief Joseph Days... or at least what's left of it. "Chief Joseph Days" is a week long western fair "Always the last week of July" as signs in Joseph proclaim. Well, today's the last day of July, so yeah... we're seeing the tail end of it.

There was more going on this morning when we passed through town on our way to the Wallowa Lake Tram. Streets were blocked off, and people were assembling for a show. There had been a big parade earlier in the day or earlier in the week. That we could tell because... well, literally because of the sheer amount of horse shit on the main road. By this afternoon at least that mess had been cleaned up.

We chose not to stop for the fair this morning as we wanted to make sure we'd have enough time for our hike. We didn't want to be on the mountain past 2pm as the weather forecast warned of afternoon thunderstorms. Already thunderstorms are looking likely, so that was a good call. Though at 2:30 when we got back to town the show was already winding down. It looks like there had been a big street fair with lots of vendors. Now only a dozen or 15 are still here, and the proprietors look wrecked. We parked to tour what's left of the show for a while.

Chief Joseph

Chief Joseph was a leader of the Nez Perce people who once made this area, around Wallowa Lake, their home. He was the tribe's chief when it came into conflict with white settlers in the 1870s. Joseph negotiated a treaty with the US government for his people to remain on their land, but in 1877 the US reneged. The military came to escort them off, and war was declared.

The Nez Perce fought a war that became one for military history books. Though the band numbered fewer than 800 they waged a fighting retreat of over 1,000 miles as they sought refuge first in Montana and then in Canada. The US Army stopped them short of Canada. Joseph surrendered, negotiating terms for his people to move to a reservation in Idaho. The US government promptly reneged on that, too, and sent them to a military prison in Oklahoma where most died from disease.

Joseph survived and became a statesman, advocating for native peoples to Congress in Washington, DC. Military leaders respected him for his military prowess. Civilian leaders respected him for his intelligent philosophy. But they all continued making promises and then breaking them. Not the most shining chapter in US history.

Here in the town named for Chief Joseph there's not a heck of a lot about him. The statue in the picture has a few quotes from him on plaques at its base. Most of what I've written here is my distant knowledge from US history classes years ago bolstered by a quick visit to Wikipedia. The week long fair bears his name but aside from that seems to be an ordinary county fair, western US style. Little we saw at the fair was related to the Nez Perce or Chief Joseph except in name.

"Bro Country" Music

As for the street fair.... I think I was most impressed by the country-western singer working hard all afternoon in a long-sleeve shirt and denim jeans. It was hot! And at least while we were there he had pretty much zero audience. I didn't particularly like his songs— they were "bro country", like a song about all the ways a dog is better than a woman— though I admire his vocal talent. And his hard work in the summer heat.

I walked up to thank the musician as he and his crew were shutting down for the day. I know entertainers live for the audience; that's why I wanted to show my appreciation. He was grateful. He shook my hand enthusiastically as his manager came over and insisted I take a card.

I carefully didn't say that I liked his songs. I complimented him on his voice, his playing, and him busting his butt in the heat. He was playing for 2 or 3 semi-interested people at a time. I've seen less talented musicians perform for crowds of 22,000. But I'm not going to buy an album of songs about how a dog is better than a woman because it doesn't fuss if you put your boots on the table.

Hawk and I were browsing through Amazon Prime Video a few nights ago, looking for something new to watch. We found something old to watch: The Carol Burnett Show.

"Wow, that's a blast from the past!" I thought to myself. I remember watching it as a child and finding the skit-based comedy hilarious. My parents enjoyed it, too, as the show was family friendly.

Hawk and I have streamed a few episodes now. Here are Five Things:

1) 1967 In Living Color!

Right away I was struck by how good the video looks, in color, from 1967. The title gag (above/right) is grainy and faded, but the video of the show content itself is vivid and sharp. So much classic TV from that era was never recorded, or was recorded poorly, or was recorded well but then the tapes were damaged, that it's a treasure to find this 54 year old show in such pristine condition.

Part of that, I found out, is that the show was taped. A lot of TV from that era was aired live; that's the root of the problem for why surviving recordings are so hit-or-miss. The Carol Burnett Show rehearsed all week then did two recordings in front of a live studio audience. Takes from the two shows were mixed, combining the better cuts of each, for broadcast.

2) "The Lost Episodes"

What we're streaming on Prime is The Carol Burnett Show: The Lost Episodes. Each episode is a full, original TV broadcast, with a running time of 52 minutes. I point out the running time because a common version of The Carol Burnett Show in syndication cuts down each episode to just 22 minutes, literally editing out more than half the content. It's nice to see full episodes. It shows, among other things, that the show was actually a variety show, not just a skit-comedy show. It had musical guests and song-and-dance numbers. Burnett herself dances and sings, too!

BTW, it's those cut-down-for-syndication shows I remember watching as a child. The Carol Burnett Show aired 1967-1978. Toward the end of that run I would've been just old enough to appreciate and remember such a program. But it was aired in the 10-11pm time slot, and I was too young at the time to be staying up that late. Also, I do remember it being a half-hour program and being focused on skit comedy; no musical guests or elaborate song-and-dance numbers.

3) Q&A, 1967 Style

One of the other aspects of the original show edited out to make the 30-minute episodes was the Q&A session. Burnett began each episode, at least in first couple of seasons (all we've seen so far), inviting audience members to ask her questions. And oh, how 1967 it is! The first question on the first episode was, "What are your measurements?" 🤦‍♀️

To give 1967 people some credit, though, when Burnett minutes later introduced show announcer, Lyle Waggoner, and encouraged the audience to ask him questions, someone quickly shouted out, "What are your measurements?"

OTOH, I think that was one of the cameramen. 😂

A note: this first episode in the Lost Episodes compilation was not the first show aired. I believe it was the fourth broadcast episode. Lucille Ball was the guest star. Having Ball on sure made it feel like a premiere episode, though, as she is a comedy legend and was an important mentor to Burnett.

4) The Musical Guest is Who?

Another part of the oh-so-1967 character of the early episodes is the choice of musical guests. Many of them are singers whose style and lyrics are laughably quaint by modern standards. Indeed many of their names are completely unrecognizable nowadays. I mean, it's not even good "Oldies" music. It's bad Oldies music— the dull, sappy stuff of the late 60s/early 70s that was gladly left behind a few years later. Even disco was better than that insipid crud.

5) So Many Stars

While the musical guests on The Carol Burnett Show are hit-or-miss-but-mostly-miss, the guest actors each week are a veritable who's-who of TV stardom from the era. After the first episode in the Lost series featured Lucille Ball and Tim Conway (a frequent guest who'd later become a regular cast member), the second featured Don Adams, star of the classic TV comedy Get Smart (1965-1970).

Unlike on a later well-known comedy variety show, Saturday Night Live, where a guest actor such as Adams would be used mostly for send-ups of his own work, Carol Burnett didn't ask him to spoof his Maxwell Smart character aside from a brief gag about the character's memorable vocal quips during the Q&A session. Instead, she had him play broader comedy parts, such as her husband in a skit about a woman trying to remember where she lost a purse full of important documents (pictured). He also played TV host in a spoof about a variety-comedy show, a la The Tonight Show, trying to air when the studio staff are on strike. It was fun for me, as a person who'd studied TV production many years ago, to spot all the technical "goofs" intentionally inserted in the skit such as the shadow of the boom microphone crossing someone's face, the shadow of a person moving behind the backdrop being seen, and the actors facing the wrong camera to deliver their lines. Aside from the technical bits I enjoyed, it was fun to see Adams as a more versatile comedian than just his inimitable Maxwell Smart character.

I'm looking forward to finishing the first season of The Carol Burnett Show: The Lost Episodes. It does skip around, though, relative to the original broadcast, so we're also looking for how to enjoy the complete original episodes.