She Earns More than Him -- Now that's Us!
Nov. 2nd, 2022 12:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
canyonwalkerThe other day I saw a Buzzfeed listicle1 in my newsfeed entitled "21 Surprising Confessions From Women Who Earn "Significantly More" Money Than Their Partners" (Buzzfeed, 31 Oct 2022). It's about the relationship dynamics of couples where the woman partner earns more than the male. Women earning more than men in some families is not a new phenomenon, though once virtually unheard of it has been growing more common. Yet it still surprises me how common old-fashioned, narrow-minded attitudes about it are. Too many men feel ashamed of it, are shamed by friends and relatives for it, and try to deny it or manipulate it.
I've always looked at those stories of shame and denial and shaken my head. If my partner were earning more than me, I've long said, I'd support her and celebrate her success! Now I get a chance to put my mouth where my money is. Hawk is earning more than me this year.
This is a reversal of... basically forever in our relationship. I've long had more earning power than her as I earned a STEM degree, and a masters degree, and have worked in technical jobs since my second year of college. Often my salary was 2x hers, or higher.
In the past few years Hawk has climbed the corporate ladder more successfully than I have, increasing her salary greatly. That combined with working at a company beating its financial targets (both of us have a bonus or commission tied to company revenue) has vaulted her past me in earnings for this year. She'll finish 2022 earning 20% more than me.
So, now that the earnings reversal is real as opposed to merely hypothetical, how do I feel? I feel the same as I've always said I would. I'm happy for her. She's worked hard. She's earned it. And we both benefit.
[1] A listicle is a form of lazy modern journalism where a reporter writes a feature article that's really just a list of best-of responses in a thread on social media like Twitter or Reddit. List + article = listicle.
I've always looked at those stories of shame and denial and shaken my head. If my partner were earning more than me, I've long said, I'd support her and celebrate her success! Now I get a chance to put my mouth where my money is. Hawk is earning more than me this year.
This is a reversal of... basically forever in our relationship. I've long had more earning power than her as I earned a STEM degree, and a masters degree, and have worked in technical jobs since my second year of college. Often my salary was 2x hers, or higher.
In the past few years Hawk has climbed the corporate ladder more successfully than I have, increasing her salary greatly. That combined with working at a company beating its financial targets (both of us have a bonus or commission tied to company revenue) has vaulted her past me in earnings for this year. She'll finish 2022 earning 20% more than me.
So, now that the earnings reversal is real as opposed to merely hypothetical, how do I feel? I feel the same as I've always said I would. I'm happy for her. She's worked hard. She's earned it. And we both benefit.
[1] A listicle is a form of lazy modern journalism where a reporter writes a feature article that's really just a list of best-of responses in a thread on social media like Twitter or Reddit. List + article = listicle.
no subject
Date: 2022-11-02 10:20 pm (UTC)<3 Good job, you two!
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Date: 2022-11-03 06:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-11-03 11:12 am (UTC)~Sor
Congratulations, Hawk!
Date: 2022-11-09 11:27 pm (UTC)I didn't know what a listicle was, so thanks for the footnote.