Tales & Trails of a Traveling Wiseguy

A few weeks ago I ordered a package on Amazon. I knew the delivery was risky as soon as I saw the shipper sending it via UPS. UPS has at best a 50% success rate delivering to my address.

The package was scheduled for delivery on Friday, 7/1. UPS notified me with an email that the delivery had been completed around 10:30am... except there was never a knock at the door... and there was no package at the door, either.

Sometimes delivery drivers get confused with which door is which in our townhouse complex. I see UberEats/DoorDash/etc. drivers struggling a lot. UPS and FedEx are way better— because their drivers are pros— but it's not outside the realm of possibility that they'd make a mistake. So I checked around neighbors' doorsteps, too, but didn't see my package there, either. At that point I figured UPS delivered it to the wrong street... or just didn't deliver it at all.

Several days later I asked a neighbor to check if the package had arrived at our door. We were out of town after Friday so I couldn't check it myself. By Wednesday there was still no package. But when we came home on Sunday, nine days later... the package was at the doorstep!

The ongoing saga with Verizon Home Internet is still not resolved. The problem now has shifted to UPS. After spending hours on the phone with Verizon last week Monday/Tuesday, they decided to ship me a new wireless gateway. To their credit they shipped it fast, on Wednesday, and via 2nd day air, so it was supposed to arrive on Friday. Supposed to. And that's where FuckUPS takes over.

I was home all day Friday ready to receive the shipment. In the afternoon I heard a truck at the end of the block but nobody knocked or rang the bell. Soon I received an email that UPS had attempted delivery but nobody was home. "Attempted delivery my ass!" I fumed. Though usually they stick a note on the door. Friday they hadn't even done that. So maybe they tried delivering to the wrong house. Or maybe the driver just pressed "Nobody home" on his handheld computer as he drove past the house. 😡

Today I got another delivery-failed notice. This time, at least, the driver stopped his truck at the end of the block. He even came to my door. But instead of ringing the doorbell or knocking he simply stuck a "Sorry we missed you" note on the door. I started heading downstairs to open the door when I heard his truck engine. By the time I opened the door he was already driving away. 🤬

This problem of drivers not even trying to deliver a package that requires a signature has been a problem in the past. When it occurred a few years ago I called their customer service number, who alerted the area supervisor on my behalf, who called and left me a voicemail with indecipherable instructions and a phone number to call back at that nobody answered. Today I called customer service again, and again they promised to alert a local supervisor about the problem. We'll see if the problem gets addressed any better this time around.